Researchers at one school noticed that teachers praised good work and blamed bad behavior. As an experiment, teachers were trained to praise both good work and good behavior — and to ignore bad behavior. Soon the bad behavior largely vanished.
At home, too, praise is more effective than blame, creating upward spirals. The 80/20 Way exalts praise — praise is easy and the return over the lifetime of the child is immense. Praise is to children’s development as water is to plants: the tiniest encouragement leads to massive flowering. A capable, well-intentioned child will have a terrific positive impact on other people throughout life. A little praise for a child today has enormous lasting benefits.
Try counting the number of times you and your spouse say “yes” or “no” to your children. Make a conscious effort to say “yes” more and “no” less. Count again a week later. See the difference it makes.
